Childhood Again

Graphics by Amy Hoang
March 13, 2024

When I was younger

I would look up towards my mom

And whine “I wish I were older”

I had wished I were older

So I could be free

Not have to ask permission for the simplest of things

Like going out to the park by myself,

Or cooking in the kitchen even though I didn’t actually have the capacity to create the feast 

I conjured up in my head,

Because I wanted money to spend,

On the toys and wishes I desired on the shelves of stores,

The shiny trinkets that I wanted to be mine, just mine.

I wanted to be in my prime

Going out and laughing with friends

Being in love

So much so I didn’t realize all the love in front of me,

Innocent laughs, colors,

No stress, spinning around

Not a care in the world

But now, the biggest worry

Is not having enough time

Wanting to savor each moment with memories galore.

I wish I were younger,

So I didn’t have to worry so much

About being the best I can be

About pleasing my parents

About achieving my dreams

About not having any regrets

Going back again, 

To what is me

Without all these trends and influential false realities

We are

We are

We are

Not ourselves anymore

At least I don’t feel like it

So how can we go back to who we truly are?

How to laugh more? Worry less?

Not have to think about constantly having to impress?

Be able to dress and not regret when we confess?

Look in the mirror,

And revisit the old streets you roamed

The distinct smells of the past

Find something that grounds you,

An old song, hobby, food, friends,

The places and people and things you spent your time doing, and do them again




Don’t follow the crowds,

But do what you want,

What your childhood self would want.

I wish I were younger

So I was more free

But with this life, am I not free now anyways?

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