If I wrote this just 2 hours ago, who knows what I would’ve written.
And the day starts as it ended:
Woke up with a stone in my stomach
with one eye closed
Someday you’ll wake up
and like who you are again
In time, it’ll be enough to see peeks of blue
teasing me out in the corner of my window
So I’m up,
dressed for the Spring,
disregarding March’s deceiving light
and blaming myself for trusting that gopher
So I'm putting my best foot forward
Yet my worst foot stays behind
but it's not stuck
just the pace it moves is negligible is all
These new pants
This new haircut
With a boba coupon in my pocket
I can be good
behave and attest
myself and others
that
I had moved as a dummy,
but now my body aches for contentment
yet growls at crumbs
having decided long ago that
eating is an act of moving on
Only I know what I would’ve written 2 hours ago.
I think about how
when you were sick I kissed you through your mask,
never considering the possibility of a chronic illness
or an immunodeficiency.
I learned that Bronchitis isn't contagious
but it’s the sickness that causes it.
I still cough a wad every day
as minimal it may be,
I’ve yet to address that insecurity
BANG!
This deep lunge I take rips myself in 2
I stand at the line
This one that you drew
(or should I say the lack thereof)
that doesn't tell me what I should or shouldn’t do
It’s not even a line.
A sphere wrapped around me
that refracts my face
until it all fades to green
BANG!—And the second shot fires.
DNF posted online.
I notice your face hasn't changed. Why?
How much soot must I throw back?
How many blanks must I fire?
What moisturizer do you use? Send me the link?
I should’ve written it all 2 hours ago.
In my declaration of dependence
signed in sporadic splotches
at the edge of my pillow
abridged to unrecognition:
Someday. Someday. someday. Someday. Someday
I don't need “someday”. I don’t need to feel.
I don't need any of it right now.
What I need is retrospect!
Walk of shame
Consolation claps
The flag still flies
And someday I know I’ll wake up
returning sunlight’s love
And tomorrow I know I’ll wake up
to hate you all over again
2 hours, I want to delete it all
